3 Things I Know For Sure | Life Advice

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Inspired by Oprah Winfrey's book 'What I know for Sure'

In Oprah's book 'What I know for sure', she writes about the ultimate lessons she has learned throughout her years on this planet and the nuggets of wisdom she has gained from these experiences. The things she knows for sure. Here, I am going to write about three things I know for sure. The three things that I can be certain of in life, three things worth knowing, three things that could just change your life.

WHEN YOU TREAT YOURSELF AS SOMEONE WHO IS WORTHY, OTHERS WILL TOO

Let's not pretend that this is a quick problem to solve. Self worth is a giant mountain that can take years and years to climb but the journey is important. You don't have to be at a stage of complete self acceptance to attract people in your life that treat you the way you want to be treated. You just have to believe that you have something to offer people. I'm not talking about your bank balance or the way you look. I'm talking about the love that you can give to others. If you have love to give, you have something to offer. If you have something to offer, you are worthy of love too.

The way we see ourselves is like a mirror. The mirror reflects our personal perception onto others and they see it as TRUTH. If you see yourself as unworthy of other's time and effort, the people around you will see it and believe it. When you believe that you are deserving of time and effort, the people around you will see it and believe it.

Life is short, people don't want to spend their time on people who aren't worth their time and people will treat you how you allow them to treat you. It is an ugly truth but it's human nature. We judge others on first impressions and we find ourselves being drawn to people who make us feel good.

You can have insecurities AND STILL know what you deserve. Everybody has flaws, that doesn't make them unworthy of love, so stop using yours as an excuse to let people treat you badly. The more you learn to accept and love yourself, the more you will attract people who do the same (themselves and you!) Self love is a roller coaster, sometimes a really long rollercoaster with upside down loopty-loops. But as long as you get into that carriage and strap yourself in, you've committed to start loving yourself FLAWS AND ALL and by doing that, you've committed to invite people into your life who see your worth. Get on that damn roller coaster.

YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF HOW YOU FEEL

This is a tricky subject to breach as it rubs a lot of people up the wrong way. These people simply don't want to hear it and that's fine, you can skip this section if that's how you feel. But by rejecting the idea that YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR THOUGHTS, you are living in what's called 'victim mentality'. (Here is a great article to explain what that is and the signs of someone that demonstrates it) 

No, you may not have given that thought permission to enter your head. The thought that told you that no one likes you and you're going to die alone. But you gave that thought permission to stay. You may have even fed it another, and another until you've told yourself every ugly thing you could ever say to a person in under 30 minuets. Your thoughts are a result of HABIT. You are so used to telling yourself horrible things that sometimes, you don't even realise that you are doing it. This happens for many reasons, it can stem from what people have said to you in the past, other's actions towards you which have resulted in you feeling worthless, the media and it's endless pursuit to make sure we're never quite happy with who we are. But blaming all of these things is yet another demonstration of victim mentality. (See how easy it can be to slip into that?)

Habits take time and effort to settle in but the reward is life changing. For some people, this can be an epiphany like it was for me. I grew up with a very negative outlook on life but the moment I realised how damaging my own thoughts could be and that I was in charge of how I chose to perceive situations, life and myself- that was honestly the biggest game changer. 

You can start this new habit of positive thinking today. Just start by telling yourself one thing you like about yourself, or one thing that makes you happy, or take yourself back to one of your happiest memories. You carry this on by being aware of the negative thoughts as soon as they enter your mind. Don't get angry or frustrated with yourself, just replace that thought with one that makes you feel good.

JUST REMEMBER: Would you befriend someone that said to you, the things you say to yourself? I hope the answer is NOPE. So why would you allow yourself to do the same?

TRUE HAPPINESS COMES FROM THE THINGS YOU CAN'T BUY

This is such a cliche but it's just something that needs to be hammered home hard because people just still ain't getting it! Our society is OBSESSED with how others perceive us. We care so much about what people think of us that we pretend everything is perfect. We care so much about what people think of us that we buy things on finance. We care so much about what people think of us that we create online accounts, online versions of ourselves that we constantly compare ourselves to. How sad is that!? I read this quote the other day that said "If you liked yourself as much as you like your online life, you'd be alright." 

Everything from the car we drive, to the clothes we wear (especially brands), to the house we own (most millennia's excluded *cry*), even the tattoos on our body! -It's all a representation of who we are as people. You may not realise that's what it is when you decide to buy these things, but that's essentially what it is. Everything you buy is an expression of the person you want to be perceived as, or of the financial status you have (or pretend to have!) and everybody just wants to be seen. 

And you know what? It's okay to want to be seen. We live in a seriously confusing world that seems hell bent on making us unhappy and all we want at the end of the day is just to be happy. We're all a little bit lost. But what I can say for sure is that buying things won't make you happy. Not the kind of happy that fills your lungs and sends electric bolts running through your veins. The kind of happy where you almost can't breathe because you're so alive. 

Sure, you can get short term bursts of happiness by buying things. I felt like I'd died and gone to heaven when my first MacBook arrived. I literally thought I heard angel's voices when I pulled off the top to that magical white box. But it was a different kind of happiness and it didn't last long either. You can also just keep buying stuff all the time if you've got that kind of money but all you're doing is painting over a crack. You can add as many layers of paint as you like, that crack will still be there until you fill it! 

There have been countless scientific studies on happiness and the conclusion they all reach? The people who lead the happiest lives are those who have good relationships with loved ones and the people who are offering their services to make the world a better place. Not the people who are most successful, not the people with the most money in the bank, not the people who are voted hottest crush of the week. It's so easy to get distracted by all the fluff. Try to spend more time focusing on your relationships and on what you can offer the world in terms of helping people because once you do, you'll find yourself feeling more whole. You won't feel the need to paint over that crack so much.


I hope you enjoyed reading this post as much as I enjoyed writing it. These are the three things I know for sure. Three things that just might turn your life around. Until next week, 

LUNA EDEN X

How to Create Your Life Changing Affirmations

DISCLAIMER: IMAGE NOT OWNED BY ME

What are Affirmations and Why Do I Need Them?

An affirmation is a positive statement that you tell yourself. You may have noticed that our human brains tell us stuff all day long and for most of us, those things we say to ourselves aren't kind! Imagine your closest friend telling you the things you tell yourself. "You're not good enough." "You look silly in that." "Nobody likes you." Do you think you would keep that friend? Or would you cut her off and tell her to suck it!? If you wouldn't accept these statements from someone you love, why would you accept it from yourself? 

These thoughts can be so so destructive and the worst part? We do it on autopilot! We don't even realise we're doing it. We live every day with a voice in our heads that tell us negative, spiteful things and we wonder why it's hard to get up in the mornings and why we can't wait to sleep and shut the voice out. 

Affirmations may seem silly to some but they work for me and they work for thousands of others too. Have you ever been around a positive happy person and felt their energy flow into you? You automatically feel happier when you're around this person. Now, have you ever been around a negative, unhappy person and felt their heavy fog of an energy seep into you and suddenly everything feels dreary? THIS is because energy is contagious! So, think of your thoughts as an energy. What energies do you want to be sending into your body and out into the world around you? IMAGINE how different your life could be if you changed every negative thought into a positive one.

Affirmations can help you to transition your thought process for the better and it can be life changing!  Traditional affirmations can be easily searched for online and you may have come across some of these;

"I AM CONFIDENT"

"I AM BEAUTIFUL"

"I AM LOVED"

And although these are good affirmations, they are pretty generic. To create the best affirmations for you, you need to assess what I call your 'Fake News'. This Fake News is the stuff you tell yourself that isn't benefiting you in any way- stuff that probably isn't even true!

Write Out Your 10 Most Common Negative Thoughts

Here are some examples;

1. "I'm not destined for great things"

2. "I'm awkward"

3. "People don't like me"

4. "I will always be poor"

5. "Bad things always happen to me"

6. "People are always judging me"

7. "I'm unapproachable"

Now try to group any together that are similar or that go hand in hand. Like this;

1. "Bad things happen to me and I'm not destined for great things"

2. "I'm awkward and unapproachable. People don't like me."

3. "I will always be poor"

4. "People are always judging me"

The reason why I've asked you to write out ten and then condense them down is because firstly, a lot of our own negative thoughts stem from the same insecurity but disguise themselves as separate issues. Secondly, it is far more effective to have a small amount of affirmations because you're more likely to remember them and you can repeat them more frequently, which will have a greater effect on you.

Rewrite your Fake News into Positive Affirmations

Go through each of the negative thoughts you have condensed and oppose them so that they are a positive. Like this;

1. GOOD THINGS HAPPEN TO ME. I AM DESTINED FOR GREAT THINGS

2. I AM CONFIDENT AND APPROACHABLE. PEOPLE LIKE ME.

3. I ATTRACT MONEY

4. OTHER PEOPLE SEE MY GOOD ENERGY

You now have affirmations that are personal to you. They tackle the specific negative ideas you have about yourself. If these are the first words you tell yourself in the morning, you will have more motivation to get up and start your day. If you repeat these affirmations at night until you fall asleep, your mind will be left with a positive energy while it repairs your body for hours until you open your eyes the next morning. If you repeat these to yourself while you're walking to work, while you're waiting for the bus, while you get ready, while you're in the shower- you have so many opportunities to fill your head with good energy! Make a conscious effort to recognise your Fake News and replace them with your New Truths.

Final Top Tips!

1. Stick them everywhere. Put them as your screensaver, print them out and stick them on your bedside table, on the back of your bathroom door, on your fridge, in your car. Surround yourself with them so you are constantly reminded- it's easy to slip straight back into negativity without even realising!

2. Write them in CAPITALS. Notice how when you read capitals, you shout the word in your head? Our negative thoughts creep in almost like mutters under the breath "Did you just say that out loud? Why are you so stupid? Everyones judging you now." Drown that mutter out with a loud declaration to yourself! (Internally if you don't want people to stare)

3. Try not to use words with negative connotations. Our minds are sensitive to words and so any word with a negative connotation in can trigger negative responses in the brain. Notice how I didn't change "People are always judging me" (Fake News) to "People aren't judging me". This affirmation's stand out word is 'judging' which has seriously negative connotations. "Other people see my good energy" Is a good alternative because it only uses words with positive connotations and it replaces the fear of being judged with something that feels good.

I hope you liked this post on how to create life changing affirmations for yourself! Until next week,

LUNA EDEN

x

How to Reset Your Year in February

We're already 1/12 through the year already. January was over in a blink- we've got eleven blinks left until 2019 is over. The year often starts out with hope and excitement but can quickly turn right around when things don't go quite to plan. It's easy to let a bump in the road tarnish our dreams of a great year but life will always throw us curve balls and it's our job to dodge them and try again. If you've had a poor start to the year, or you just want that January motivation to last, use these steps to restart your 2019. Just imagine what your year could be like if you treated every month as the first month of the rest of your life!

1. Write a list of your achievements 

Take ten minutes to write a list of things you did in January that you're proud of. If you don't take the time to celebrate your wins, as small as they may be, life becomes an endless treadmill and that's not fun or healthy for anyone. It's also easy to lose track of how far you've come when you don't make a record of it. Reminding yourself of the things you've achieved gives you a little boost to tackle your future tasks!

2. Write out your new goals 

If you wrote out resolutions for the year last month, then review these goals and assign at least four steps for February (one for every week). If you didn't- this is the time! Go back to my post on How to Act on Your Resolutions here and get clear on what you want your future to look like. I like to write out all the baby steps for each of my goals and each week, assign a couple of them to complete. I then  review that smaller list daily and decide on which tasks I can tackle that day. 

3. Challenge yourself to a 10 minute tidy everyday

Having your space less cluttered can make a massive difference to your mental space. I'm not a naturally tidy person myself but I've found a way to incorporate it into my life that works for me. Rather than doing everything in one go and then not cleaning anything for a month, I set myself at least one area to tidy/ clean a day and I time myself for ten minutes and I do this before I do any of my other tasks. 

This works for me because 1. I know that ten minutes out of my day is nothing which then gives me the motivation to do it. 2. It means that I fully concentrate on that task by challenging myself to get it completed as quickly as I possibly can and 3. Once it's completed, I feel ready to tackle my goal related tasks because I HATE cleaning and getting that out of the way first means I don't have to dread or dwell on it for the rest of the day. 

If you find this challenge easy then you could try another 10 minutes in the evening. Tidying your bedroom, work space or the dishes are all great tasks to do on an evening because they set you up for the next day.

4. Do a clear out

Whether its clothes, your handbag, make-up bag, bookshelf or purse. If you haven't already, get rid of the clutter! It's amazing what a clear-out can do for your mood. It also makes the whole tidying up process much easier. When it comes to clothes, books and home wear items, it's also a great idea to give these things away! To a charity shop or to a friend- giving is a great way to start the month.


5. Do a digital clear out

Now this is the kind of task that could take you all day but is worth doing if you want to get rid of the old and bring in the new. Clear your laptop/ desktop of all unneeded documents, pictures and videos and then sort the leftovers into folders. Delete all unnecessary emails, create folders for important e-mails you'll need for the future (it's a good idea to separate these into near and far future). Delete any apps on your mobile that you haven't used in months. Delete old messages/ contacts you wont need and pictures too. TRUST me when I say that this feels like a huge breath of fresh air when this is complete.

6. Take some TLC

TENDER LOVING CARE- Yeah, you heard right. Once you've patted yourself on the back for your achievements in January, written your goals for February, tidied your personal space and done a clear out of both your physical and digital possessions, it's time to really treat yourself to some YOU time. That phrase might be cringey to some of you but it's very important if you want to make 2019 your year. You can't expect to put all your time and energy into the things and people around you and not crash one day. Taking care of yourself means refilling that water jug so that you have plenty to water others when you need to.

TLC includes; Having a bath, making yourself a hot drink (or a cold alcoholic one) and sitting down to read, painting your finger nails AND your toes nails to match, allowing yourself two blissful hours to watch a rom-com without multitasking, going for some cocktails with a friend, playing a game and not feeling an ounce of guilt, putting a face mask on. The options are ENDLESS. If you don't want to dedicated a whole day to this, then at least give yourself half of one. You'll thank yourself later.


And there they are! Six steps to Reset in February. I hope you enjoyed, I'll be back next Wednesday with another post on how to make 2019 your best year yet!

LUNA EDEN x