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Inspired by Oprah Winfrey's book 'What I know for Sure'
In Oprah's book 'What I know for sure', she writes about the ultimate lessons she has learned throughout her years on this planet and the nuggets of wisdom she has gained from these experiences. The things she knows for sure. Here, I am going to write about three things I know for sure. The three things that I can be certain of in life, three things worth knowing, three things that could just change your life.
WHEN YOU TREAT YOURSELF AS SOMEONE WHO IS WORTHY, OTHERS WILL TOO
Let's not pretend that this is a quick problem to solve. Self worth is a giant mountain that can take years and years to climb but the journey is important. You don't have to be at a stage of complete self acceptance to attract people in your life that treat you the way you want to be treated. You just have to believe that you have something to offer people. I'm not talking about your bank balance or the way you look. I'm talking about the love that you can give to others. If you have love to give, you have something to offer. If you have something to offer, you are worthy of love too.
The way we see ourselves is like a mirror. The mirror reflects our personal perception onto others and they see it as TRUTH. If you see yourself as unworthy of other's time and effort, the people around you will see it and believe it. When you believe that you are deserving of time and effort, the people around you will see it and believe it.
Life is short, people don't want to spend their time on people who aren't worth their time and people will treat you how you allow them to treat you. It is an ugly truth but it's human nature. We judge others on first impressions and we find ourselves being drawn to people who make us feel good.
You can have insecurities AND STILL know what you deserve. Everybody has flaws, that doesn't make them unworthy of love, so stop using yours as an excuse to let people treat you badly. The more you learn to accept and love yourself, the more you will attract people who do the same (themselves and you!) Self love is a roller coaster, sometimes a really long rollercoaster with upside down loopty-loops. But as long as you get into that carriage and strap yourself in, you've committed to start loving yourself FLAWS AND ALL and by doing that, you've committed to invite people into your life who see your worth. Get on that damn roller coaster.
YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF HOW YOU FEEL
This is a tricky subject to breach as it rubs a lot of people up the wrong way. These people simply don't want to hear it and that's fine, you can skip this section if that's how you feel. But by rejecting the idea that YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR THOUGHTS, you are living in what's called 'victim mentality'. (Here is a great article to explain what that is and the signs of someone that demonstrates it)
No, you may not have given that thought permission to enter your head. The thought that told you that no one likes you and you're going to die alone. But you gave that thought permission to stay. You may have even fed it another, and another until you've told yourself every ugly thing you could ever say to a person in under 30 minuets. Your thoughts are a result of HABIT. You are so used to telling yourself horrible things that sometimes, you don't even realise that you are doing it. This happens for many reasons, it can stem from what people have said to you in the past, other's actions towards you which have resulted in you feeling worthless, the media and it's endless pursuit to make sure we're never quite happy with who we are. But blaming all of these things is yet another demonstration of victim mentality. (See how easy it can be to slip into that?)
Habits take time and effort to settle in but the reward is life changing. For some people, this can be an epiphany like it was for me. I grew up with a very negative outlook on life but the moment I realised how damaging my own thoughts could be and that I was in charge of how I chose to perceive situations, life and myself- that was honestly the biggest game changer.
You can start this new habit of positive thinking today. Just start by telling yourself one thing you like about yourself, or one thing that makes you happy, or take yourself back to one of your happiest memories. You carry this on by being aware of the negative thoughts as soon as they enter your mind. Don't get angry or frustrated with yourself, just replace that thought with one that makes you feel good.
JUST REMEMBER: Would you befriend someone that said to you, the things you say to yourself? I hope the answer is NOPE. So why would you allow yourself to do the same?
TRUE HAPPINESS COMES FROM THE THINGS YOU CAN'T BUY
This is such a cliche but it's just something that needs to be hammered home hard because people just still ain't getting it! Our society is OBSESSED with how others perceive us. We care so much about what people think of us that we pretend everything is perfect. We care so much about what people think of us that we buy things on finance. We care so much about what people think of us that we create online accounts, online versions of ourselves that we constantly compare ourselves to. How sad is that!? I read this quote the other day that said "If you liked yourself as much as you like your online life, you'd be alright."
Everything from the car we drive, to the clothes we wear (especially brands), to the house we own (most millennia's excluded *cry*), even the tattoos on our body! -It's all a representation of who we are as people. You may not realise that's what it is when you decide to buy these things, but that's essentially what it is. Everything you buy is an expression of the person you want to be perceived as, or of the financial status you have (or pretend to have!) and everybody just wants to be seen.
And you know what? It's okay to want to be seen. We live in a seriously confusing world that seems hell bent on making us unhappy and all we want at the end of the day is just to be happy. We're all a little bit lost. But what I can say for sure is that buying things won't make you happy. Not the kind of happy that fills your lungs and sends electric bolts running through your veins. The kind of happy where you almost can't breathe because you're so alive.
Sure, you can get short term bursts of happiness by buying things. I felt like I'd died and gone to heaven when my first MacBook arrived. I literally thought I heard angel's voices when I pulled off the top to that magical white box. But it was a different kind of happiness and it didn't last long either. You can also just keep buying stuff all the time if you've got that kind of money but all you're doing is painting over a crack. You can add as many layers of paint as you like, that crack will still be there until you fill it!
There have been countless scientific studies on happiness and the conclusion they all reach? The people who lead the happiest lives are those who have good relationships with loved ones and the people who are offering their services to make the world a better place. Not the people who are most successful, not the people with the most money in the bank, not the people who are voted hottest crush of the week. It's so easy to get distracted by all the fluff. Try to spend more time focusing on your relationships and on what you can offer the world in terms of helping people because once you do, you'll find yourself feeling more whole. You won't feel the need to paint over that crack so much.
I hope you enjoyed reading this post as much as I enjoyed writing it. These are the three things I know for sure. Three things that just might turn your life around. Until next week,
Everything from the car we drive, to the clothes we wear (especially brands), to the house we own (most millennia's excluded *cry*), even the tattoos on our body! -It's all a representation of who we are as people. You may not realise that's what it is when you decide to buy these things, but that's essentially what it is. Everything you buy is an expression of the person you want to be perceived as, or of the financial status you have (or pretend to have!) and everybody just wants to be seen.
And you know what? It's okay to want to be seen. We live in a seriously confusing world that seems hell bent on making us unhappy and all we want at the end of the day is just to be happy. We're all a little bit lost. But what I can say for sure is that buying things won't make you happy. Not the kind of happy that fills your lungs and sends electric bolts running through your veins. The kind of happy where you almost can't breathe because you're so alive.
Sure, you can get short term bursts of happiness by buying things. I felt like I'd died and gone to heaven when my first MacBook arrived. I literally thought I heard angel's voices when I pulled off the top to that magical white box. But it was a different kind of happiness and it didn't last long either. You can also just keep buying stuff all the time if you've got that kind of money but all you're doing is painting over a crack. You can add as many layers of paint as you like, that crack will still be there until you fill it!
There have been countless scientific studies on happiness and the conclusion they all reach? The people who lead the happiest lives are those who have good relationships with loved ones and the people who are offering their services to make the world a better place. Not the people who are most successful, not the people with the most money in the bank, not the people who are voted hottest crush of the week. It's so easy to get distracted by all the fluff. Try to spend more time focusing on your relationships and on what you can offer the world in terms of helping people because once you do, you'll find yourself feeling more whole. You won't feel the need to paint over that crack so much.
I hope you enjoyed reading this post as much as I enjoyed writing it. These are the three things I know for sure. Three things that just might turn your life around. Until next week,
LUNA EDEN X
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