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A couple of years ago there came a point in my life that felt like an epiphany of sorts. When I started to realise the power that the media holds over us. I realised that, as Matt Haig writes in his book 'Reasons to Stay Alive'- "The world is increasingly designed to depress us." and that people and companies make money by playing on our insecurities. They have made us believe that things and looking a certain way will make us happy.
If you too have had this realisation, you KNOW that material possessions are a trap, that buying into your appearance is a trap... we know that to REALLY love ourselves, we need to love ourselves for our bare, naked selves. Not the us that has eyelash, hair and nail extensions. Not the us who has toned abs and a huge arse. Not the us who has a nice car and a great job. None of that fucking matters if you don’t love yourself regardless of all that crap, if you can't learn to be happy without all of it. We know that the media and society has constructed and shaped this ‘perfect’ image. The media sends us this message: ‘Look like this and you will be happy, you will be successful and you will be desired.’ And we as a society have swallowed it up and accepted it as truth. It is so heavily ingrained in us that even when WE KNOW it won’t make us happy. When WE KNOW that we are conforming to society’s standards. When WE KNOW that it’s a short term, surface value solution to a bigger, underlying problem- we still get trapped! We still find ourselves thinking ‘if only I had a smaller nose...’ ‘if only I had longer legs...’ ‘I wish I was naturally more tanned...’ And when you read it out, god doesn’t it sound a bit pathetic? There are people dying out there and we’re sat here thinking about whether or not we should start investing in eyelash extensions. I think it's important to mention here, that I still struggle with this 'ego-trip' and I am learning to be kinder to myself when I fall back into the trap. It's okay to be in the trap because we live in a world that is designed to do just that. It's the acknowledgement and the willingness to stand up against it, that's important here. You might be reading this thinking ‘jheez Jade, chill the hell out. It’s not that deep..’ but you know what? It is deep. We’re all laying awake at night wondering what we’re doing with our lives. We wake up and we want to crawl back to bed because being unconscious for a little while longer is much more appealing than being in our realities. We come home from social gatherings fucking exhausted because we pulled a Jim Carrey and basically exaggerated a version of ourselves to be liked. To be fun, funny, outgoing and interesting. We keep asking ourselves the same questions. Why don’t I feel fulfilled? Why do I feel like there’s something missing? Why do I feel lost?
Social media influencers preach self love and then promote teeth whitener. We’re spreading a message that looks like happiness but it doesn’t FEEL like happiness. It just leaves us feeling empty. You may now be thinking ‘Jade, people can love themselves and want to whiten their teeth, get eyelash extensions or fake tan.’ And yes, you’re right but you're also probably missing the point. When we live in a world that’s influenced so much by other people and the way they live their lives.. when young girls are growing up looking up at people like Tammy Hembrow, Kylie Jenner and James Charles, it sends out the wrong message to people who haven’t quite figured it out yet. It teaches people that if you look a certain way, you can live a life like ‘X’ and that will make you happy. Sadly, we DO live in a world that judges us by surface value. We DO live in a world where looking attractive will increase your chances of getting the job, at getting the guy/girl, at making friends. We are taught that the way we look is synonymous with success and happiness. That’s why it’s SO hard to go against the grain, to put a middle finger up at the airbrushing and the leg shaving and all the other things that we feel are required of us or will increase our chances of attracting the things we desire.
WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?
So, maybe the answer for some of us isn’t shaving our head, growing our armpit hair and living in the forest with the animals. Just like any big change you wish to incorporate into your life, you can take it step by step. You don't have to dive in full force! But we can start somewhere. Here’s where; Consider the way you represent yourself online. Is it heavily focused around what you have and what you look like? Consider using filters less, using airbrushing less. Just be your true human self We can stop apologising when we forget to shave our legs- it's nobodies business! We can learn to buy INTENTIONALLY- this means really considering purchases before committing. Consider why you wear what you wear. Do you sacrifice comfort to look good? Why? Take a look at the cosmetic and non-cosmetic procedures you invest your time and money into. Do you really need all of it? We can decrease our social media intake We can wear makeup less And we can embrace our natural hair, our natural skin colour and our blemishes
As always, I would love to know what you think! Leave a comment below :)
Have an amazing week guys,
Until next time...
LUNA EDEN x
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